Writing from the body

A slice of life micro essay

I thought we had left the bad energy behind in Mumbai when we relocated. I didn’t know we had inadvertently carried some unwanted baggage into our new home. It took its time and popped up one day when our guards were down.

Arguments always make me sick. Physically and emotionally. I got a fever. My mouth felt dry and I couldn’t eat. My head began to throb.

I tried humour, but he didn’t laugh.

I resorted to romance, but he didn’t budge.

And then something happened that neither of us expected.

My voice became hoarse with emotion, rising a few decibels above normal. Words came out from a dungeon deep inside me, where I had hidden the unspeakable. They flowed and flowed like a dam burst. I wondered how I might have looked at that moment, even while speaking these words.

Sometimes things need to break down completely for us to realize the need for renovation and repairs. For a complete overhaul. For us to be able to purge and declutter ourselves of that which does not belong inside us.

I retched and spluttered up a mountain of pent-up emotions. He held me while my body rejuvenated itself, along with our relationship.

This micro essay was written last year, during a speed writing exercise in the

Ochre Sky Stories

Memoir Writing Workshop with

Natasha Badhwar

and

Raju Tai

. There is something about writing in a safe community that brings up memories and emotions like nothing else can. I rediscovered writing because of Ochre Sky. I also found my tribe there.